Finding Mrs. Wright Page 6

  I was sure I would have enjoyed the service if I could have paid attention. The music was nice—really nice, actually. It wasn’t a bunch of screaming and shouting like the gospel music on the radio. It was kind of jazzy and the singers were really good. There was a full orchestra off to the side from the choir stand with every instrument you could think of. Honestly, except for the lyrics, the music was like the music I used to enjoy in some of Atlanta’s many jazz clubs I used to frequent before Brianna was born.

  When the pastor got up to give his sermon, I knew I should be listening, but all I could think of was Brianna in her room at night, right across the hall from Shauntae’s room, hearing all sorts of stuff a six-year-old should never hear.

  My parents were right. I needed to sue for custody. But how could I do that? Even if I did swallow my pride and ask my parents for the money, everyone knew a man couldn’t get a child from its mother. Unless Shauntae was on drugs or in jail, it would be almost impossible. At the very moment when I had that thought, I heard the pastor saying something about nothing being impossible for God. I listened for a second and everything he was saying was real cool—but he didn’t know Shauntae.

  What if I offered to pay her child support even though Brianna stayed with me all the time? Would she be willing to give her up? I thought about the smile across her face when I told her I wasn’t bringing Brianna back today. Yeah, she would give her up. As long as she got her check.

  Could I handle Brianna by myself? Saturday and Sunday were the only days that I could regroup and get ready for the week. If I decided to keep bringing Brianna to church every Sunday, I would only have Saturday to chill out and relax. And not really since Brianna would be there. If I got full custody, I’d be a full-time single dad for real.

  It didn’t matter. I was willing to do whatever it took to get my daughter away from Shauntae.

  I only realized the preacher was finished with his speaking when everybody stood up. I looked down at my watch. Only two hours. Thank God they didn’t stay in church all day like we used to in Memphis. That had made going to church extra painful. After they gave the benediction, I headed toward children’s church. I got halfway to the back of the sanctuary and saw Tisha. I knew Chuckie couldn’t be that far away. I saw him after I took a few steps. He squinted, frowned, and then his mouth fell open.

  “Devon, what you doing in church?”

  “Cassandra invited me and I decided to visit.” I looked at Tisha to see if she had picked up on Chuckie’s surprise. I didn’t need her going back to her girl and telling her I was a rank heathen who almost caused my boy to have a heart attack because I came to church today.

  Tisha gave me a hug. “Hey, Devon.”

  Now Chuckie looked surprised for a different reason. “Cassandra invited you?” He gave me the usual frat handshake, but when he pulled me in for a man hug he spoke directly into my ear. “You my dawg for life but if you mess her over, I’ll have to kill you.”

  I pulled back, still smiling, hoping Tisha hadn’t heard his loud whisper.

  “Well, I better go to children’s church to get Brianna.” I needed to get away from him before he said something I didn’t want Tisha hearing. Why was I caring so much what she thought? Dang, how did I let Cassandra get me to the point where I was thinking too much?

  Chuckie raised an eyebrow. “You brought Brianna?”

  I nodded. Chuckie frowned and studied my face like he was trying to figure me out. He narrowed his eyes a little like he was saying, “I’m watching you, man,” without saying anything in front of Tisha. “So you got Daddy duty after or you want to grab something to eat?”

  I held up a hand. “Daddy duty.”

  “A’ight, man. I’ll get at you later, then.”

  He gave me one last handshake and a hard look that I received as a veiled threat, and then I went back to children’s church. There were only a few kids left.

  Brianna came running up to me. “Hey, Daddy, look what I did.” She held up a picture of a face covered with silver and gold sparkles and Popsicle sticks attached. I never could understand children’s art.

  “That’s beautiful, honey.”

  Cassandra looked away from a parent she was talking to and held up a finger for me to wait until she finished. Brianna led me around the room, showing me the different pictures on the walls and naming Bible characters.

  “How do you know all of them, Bree?”

  “Gammy and Poppy teach me all about the Bible. They have this big book with all these pictures. Gammy said it was your book when you were a little boy. Don’t you remember it, Daddy?”

  “I do, sweetie.” Good old Mom and Pop. I guess they figured they’d get some Jesus up in Brianna, even if I wasn’t trying to. I was glad to see that Brianna had loosened up and was talking like her usual self.

  Cassandra hugged the mother she was talking to and then the little girl at her side and finally came over to me. “How was church?”

  “Good.”

  “How was the sermon?”

  “Good. Really good.” I hoped she didn’t ask me what it was about. I didn’t know the Bible well enough to lie and make up something, and even if I tried, I was sure she would ask Tisha about it later.

  My daughter rescued me. “Miss Cassandra, do I get my present now?”

  Cassandra knelt down and put an arm around Brianna and pulled her close. “You sure do. I really appreciate you being a good girl today. Go on over to Miss Linda and tell her to give you your surprise.” Cassandra pointed to an older lady surrounded by a few kids. Brianna took off running.

  “Slow down, Brianna,” Cassandra and I said at the same time.

  Cassandra turned to me but kept her eyes on Brianna. “She’s really something. It took her awhile to get her motor running but after she got started, she was a mile a minute.”

  “I hope she wasn’t too much. She can be—”

  “No, she was fine. Added a lot of spice to the room.” Cassandra chuckled. “She’s a lot like how my mom describes me as a child.”

  I could see that. Sassy and spicy. I imagined Brianna all grown up. With the height she was now, I could see her being tall like Cassandra. And I could see her being funny and mouthy like her. That would be much better than her growing up like Shauntae, who was spicy in all the wrong ways.

  “You really should bring her to the Saturday arts program. I’d love to work with her to develop some of her talent. And it would give you Saturday afternoons off to get a little rest.”

  “She’s usually with her mother on Saturday afternoons.”

  “Oh.” I knew Cassandra had questions but realized she didn’t know me well enough to ask.

  I spoke up quickly. “But I wouldn’t have any problem getting her on Saturdays.”

  “I wouldn’t want to cut in on her time with her mother. That’s important.”

  “Trust me, it’s not a problem.”

  Cassandra studied my face for a second, thoughtful. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Okay, we’ll see you Saturday at eleven, then.”

  Brianna came running back with a pink, fuzzy thing in her hand. “Look what I got, Daddy,” she squealed.

  “Inside voice, Bree,” I said. “It’s cute. Whatever it is.” Kids’ art, kids’ toys—it was confusing the things they enjoyed.

  “Thank you, Miss Cassandra.” Brianna threw her arms around Cassandra’s waist.

  Cassandra reached down to hug her. “You’re welcome, Brianna. I’ll see you real soon.”

  Brianna looked up at me. “We’re coming back again, Daddy?”

  “Yes, baby girl.”

  Brianna threw her arms around Cassandra’s waist again and squeezed. She looked up at Cassandra and blinked those long lashes of hers. “I love you, Miss Cassandra.”

  Cassandra hugged her back. “Love you too, sweetie.”

  I thought I was going to have to pull Brianna off Cassandra. She held on long enough that I started to get embarrasse
d. “Okay, Bree. Let Miss Cassandra go.”

  Cassandra laughed and bent down to kiss Brianna’s forehead. She reached out to shake my hand. “See you next week, Devon.” I made sure I didn’t hold her hand too long in front of Brianna. I did hold her eyes for a few seconds too long.

  Dang. This girl was getting next to me. “See you next week.”

  By the time we got to the car, memories of my morning with Shauntae were flooding back into my mind. As we drove off, I asked Brianna, “How would you like to spend the afternoon at Gammy and Poppy’s house?”

  “Yaaaaaay.” She threw her hands in the air. “Yeah, Daddy.”

  I looked down at the time and knew Mom and Pop would be getting home from church and getting ready for a big Sunday dinner feast. My mouth started watering, thinking about what my mama might have cooked. They would be glad that I had listened to them and taken Brianna to church this morning. Afterward, I would see if they minded keeping her for a few hours.

  I needed to go deal with Shauntae. I would tell her that she could pick Brianna up from school on Fridays but that I would be there to get her Saturday mornings. Whatever man she was dealing with needed to know that Friday nights were off-limits at her house. And if she didn’t like it, I would take her to court.

  I turned up the radio so Brianna wouldn’t hear me when I called her mother. As always, I ended up leaving a voice mail.

  “Shauntae, we need to talk. Go ’head and finish with your company ’cause I’ll be there by four o’clock. It’ll be better for all of us if he’s not there.”

  Six

  As I drove to Shauntae’s house, I decided I needed to come up with a strategy for dealing with her. Seemed like every time I tried to talk to her concerning an issue with Brianna, we ended up fighting and yelling at each other. Nothing got settled and things stayed the same level of bad. Maybe if I changed up my approach, we could actually get somewhere.

  When I knocked on the door, it took her so long to answer I thought she might have left to avoid having to talk to me. She finally answered the door in the same teddy she’d had on that morning when I came.

  “Shauntae, did you get my message? I said I would be here at four.” I walked inside quickly, even though it seemed like Shauntae didn’t mind exposing her half-naked body to the whole neighborhood.

  She closed the door behind me. “I got your message.”

  “So why are you still . . .” I gestured toward her body. “Is your friend gone?” I looked toward the bedroom.

  “Relax, Devon. He’s gone. I said I got your message.”

  I kept my head turned toward the back wall of her apartment. “Could you put on some clothes so we can talk?”

  She walked up close to me. “What’s the problem? You used to like to see me dressed like this.”

  “Shauntae, please. Not today. I just want to talk about Brianna.”

  She let out an exasperated sigh and stomped back to her bedroom. How was she gonna try to start some stuff with me when she still had the scent of another man on her? The real question was, how could she try to be all up in my face when she knew I practically hated her guts?

  The way Shauntae acted around men had me convinced that her stepfather had messed with her in some way. I had never asked her, but no woman is that loose and oversexed unless something had messed her up some time in her past.

  It was crazy that me and Shauntae had a child together but had never had a real conversation. It wasn’t the way I usually did things. I liked a woman with a sharp mind—with interests, ambitions, opinions—all that stuff. I liked having a good, stimulating conversation with a beautiful woman. It wasn’t like I had picked Shauntae, though. Things between me and her had just . . . happened.

  Shauntae came back out of her bedroom with some short booty shorts and a T-shirt that revealed too much cleavage. Somehow she thought that was an improvement over the teddy. “So what’s up?”

  “I wanted to talk about what happened this morning with Brianna and what’s been going on when she’s here.”

  Shauntae rolled her eyes and plopped down on the couch.

  “We agreed a long time ago that we wouldn’t have overnight company when Brianna was staying with either of us. We also agreed that, unless we were in a serious relationship, we wouldn’t even introduce her to people we were seeing.”

  She let out a deep breath. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

  I sat down across from her on a cheap pleather chair that matched her cheap pleather couch. “Do you think it’s good for our daughter to hear you and some strange man having sex right across the hall from her? She hears what’s going on in your room at night.”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised that Shauntae didn’t even blink. She didn’t realize that it was something she should be upset about.

  “What’s the big deal, Devon? It’s not like I have her in the room watching. She watches television and movies and sees stuff there, so what’s the problem?”

  My mouth fell open. “What do you have my daughter watching on television? She shouldn’t be watching anything with sex in it.”

  “When did you become all righteous and religious? Going to church and stuff? Just because you decided to get all holy doesn’t mean you have a right to tell me what to do.”

  “It’s not about church. Even if I wasn’t going to church, there’s some things that a six-year-old shouldn’t be exposed to.” It amazed me that she didn’t understand that.

  Shauntae fingered through a stack of Jet and Ebony magazines sitting on her coffee table. “I believe in keeping it real, Devon. It’s like you want to pretend in front of Brianna that you’re all innocent. But you’re not. You sleeping with women. What difference does it make if you do it while she’s there? You’re doing it, so you must not believe anything’s wrong with it. Why does it have to be a secret?”

  I stared at her like she was crazy. “I don’t want my daughter to grow up believing that it’s okay to sleep with anybody and everybody.”

  “First of all, I don’t sleep with anybody and everybody. I’m choosy with my men.”

  “Yeah, you choose the ones you think have a fat wallet and can support your tail.”

  She jumped up from the couch. “Why you always saying nasty stuff about me? Do I ever insult you, Devon?”

  I held up a hand. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.” It was too late. Shauntae was pissed and was about to go into full argue mode.

  “You act like I’m some slut, but you slept with me. What does that make you? Why you always judging me? You and your family always think you better than me. Judging everything I do and acting like I’m not fit to take care of our daughter.”

  I was about to bring up all the things that she’d done in the past that proved she wasn’t fit to take care of our daughter, but that would only make things worse.

  “I didn’t come here to argue with you, Shauntae. I’m sorry. You’re right. That was a mean thing to say.”

  She stood there fuming for a minute, deciding whether to keep going off on me or calm down.

  “Please, sit down. I don’t want to fight. I just want to talk so we can decide together what’s best for our daughter.”

  She stood there staring at me, tapping her foot, biting her lip, and breathing hard. She finally sat down on the arm of the couch as if she wanted me to know that if I said one wrong word she’d be standing up, going off again.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I tried to keep my voice gentle and calm.

  She nodded, the evil look on her face only softening a bit.

  “What do you want for Brianna? What kind of life do you want for her?”

  She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “What you talking about?”

  “What kind of future do you want for her? Who do you want her to be when she grows up? What kind of life do you want her to have?”

  Shauntae sat there with a totally clueless look on her face.

  I tried to explain further. “Like I want Brianna to grow
up happy and healthy, get a good education and have a good career, and get married and have kids of her own one day.”

  Shauntae inched onto the couch and leaned back against it, staring at the ceiling. “That’s some old Hollywood stuff. You can’t decide what your child is going to be. Life happens and things turn out the way they gonna turn out. You never know what could happen. You might want all that but that doesn’t mean anything.” The dark look on Shauntae’s face made me think that something far worse had happened at some point in her life than her stepdaddy messing with her.

  I said, “But we can hope for the best. And give her good morals and good values and a great education and prepare her for the best.” I was realizing things about Shauntae that explained her behavior around our daughter, and it wasn’t making me hopeful that things would ever get better.

  “Good morals and good values? So you sleeping with different women on the weekends when she’s not around is good morals and good values?”

  I let out a deep breath.

  “Yeah, you need to be in church because you a hypocrite just like them church people. You saying one thing but doing another and trying to put your good morals on me when you ain’t doing nothing good yourself. Don’t know if you forgot, but you ain’t married either. We ain’t no different, so don’t be judging me. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “I’m not judging you. I only want what’s best for Brianna.” This wasn’t working at all so I decided to try another approach. “I want to get her involved in some art classes.”

  Shauntae shrugged. “If you think that will give her the bright future you dreaming of, go ahead.”

  “The classes are on Saturday.”

  She started to shrug again and then frowned. “Is that what this is all about?”

  “No. This is separate. I want to put her in an art class on Saturday and then I think it would good for her to go to church on Sundays. I think—”

  Shauntae jumped up from the couch again and put a finger in my face. “You think I’m stupid, that’s what you think. This ain’t about you wanting the best for Brianna. This is about you wanting something for you. You must think I’m a fool.”